I am getting more comfortable with repeating my self.   There seem to be a few paintings I do over and over again.  There are certain symbols and gestures I do from painting to painting.   This is my visual language.  It is who I am as an artist.  I do not have to come up with new things all the time.  What I need to do is simple get into the studio and begin to paint again and trust that something good will eventually happen. It does often enough.   

We are moving toward our next Family Art Show and I am working with a steady focus to get ready.   I find that having a specific deadline in the future helps move me along in the studio.  It helps my concentration.  The children have been helping out more around the house in order to give me more time in the studio to work and for this I am very grateful and they are glad to have more of an allowance at the end of the week to look forward to.

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Flower Girl Icon

Originally uploaded by bbmarie

The girl holding a flower is an image that I keep returning to. All artists develope their own personal visual language that will continue to unfold as they work over the years.

The rose in partiucular is interesting to me because of he way in literally unfolds as it opens. I have always thought this is a good metaphore for the way a person opens up when they feel truely loved, appreciated, and listened to.

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girl in the war

A little youtube action!

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painting the city, originally uploaded by bbmarie.

This is a picture taken by Pearl of me working in the studio on a painting of the city commissioned by Calvin College.  I have been having a good time with this piece.  This particular view of the city from the Wealthy Street overpass has become like a good friend.

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busy at work

Originally uploaded by bbmarie.

This has felt like a busy time. A lot of things to do sort of piling up on each other. I was putting the last touches on a hand carved frame an hour before it and 8 other paintings were gonna be picked up for a show at Fountain Street Church. I just finnished a full page illustration for a magazine which turned into a lot of work mostly becuase I am not yet practiced in the art of making art to fit another person’s needs and vision. I am used to making what I want to make, period.

I am also getting a show of collage paintings readu that will be exhibited at Taylor University in Indiana. They are still waiting on the paper work for that show.

At the end of the month I will be flying to NYC for the IAM Encounter that Mako and his friends have put together. I will be staying in Brooklyn just minutes away from where our family lived two years ago.

In the picture here I am sending some cards out that sold on Etsy. I have set up a shop on line to sell cards and some original art work. It is always exciting when I get a notice that I have sold something. Etsy is exciting for the way it takes the work all over the country and potentially all over the world(though I haven’t made a sale over seas yet).

All this business has not meant a lot of money in the bank as you know if you read the last post. In fact we were down to $136 in our back account and about $30 in cash in our collective pockets when a check from the Chicago gallery came yesterday which put us back in a more comfortable cash flow zone for a while. The whole family watched as the cupboards got more and more bare. For the past few weeks we have been coming back from the grocery store with only the essentials. And I must say living like this has a way of keeping you awake to moment and appreciative of every little thing that gives life its comfort and beauty.

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Prayer Collage in Progress - this ain’t photo-shop!

Originally uploaded by bbmarie.

I just completed the finished work for a magazine illustration. The article was about developing a life of prayer by including the small and regular things of life. It was funny in a way because Brenda and I had prayed that we would get some more illustration work and later that day an art director we had never heard of before sent us an inquiring email after she had discovered our work online. As it turns out, she had prayed that same morning that God would put her together with the right artist for this particular article. (She shared this with me after I confessed that her getting in touch with us was a direct answer to our recent prayer.) I find that very cool.

As it turned out it was a tough job because it took me quite a while to get it right. I am so used to strictly fine art and doing what ever I please it can be a difficult adjustment to be making art to serve someone elses specific need. It is a good reminder that just because God has created an opprotunity in our life in some obvious way does not mean our experience will be an easy one.

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prayer #1

Originally uploaded by bbmarie.

Snow, snow and more snow. It just keeps coming here in Michigan. When it snows like this the chickens pretty much stay in the coop. The other day it had warmed up into the 40s and we had a few chickens in the tractor for the day and then forgot to let them out to roost in the coop for the night and a winter storm kicked up. By the morning they were still alive but covered with snow and ice on much of there feathers. We brought them in the house to thaw out and in the first few minutes one of them dropped the chicken shit mess from hell to let us know that leaving them out all night in a winter storm was NOT all right.

Some times I feel forgotten by God. I know he doesn’t really ever forget about us but it sure can feel that way. We are currently in one of those dwindling check book free falls when simple tasks like grocery shopping become steps of faith. (uh, should I get maple syrup today or just go with out?) I really think God allows these periods of extreme vulnerability to teach us to walk by faith rather than by sight. I know these times are precious becuase he has a way of pulling us in tighter to him through the process of living and trusting when the way ahead is scary.

In Matthew 25 Jesus is telling the story about the master who gives his servants different amounts of money depending on their ability. The first two work with the money they are given to increase it. The double what they were given and are rewarded when the master returns. The third servant buried the money for safe keeping. When the master finds this out he is pissed off and declares that it is “criminal to live cautiously like that!…get rid of this play-it-safe who won’t go out on a limb. Throw him out into utter darkness.” Reading this reminds me that living dangerously is simply the way it is when you are living life God’s way.

The drawing pictured here is an illustration proposal for an article on praying I am currently working on for Disciplship Magazine. The art director rejected this idea so I am currently taking it in a different direction.

Please pray that the Beerhorst family will have what it needs when it needs it (and maybe even a day or two early).

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Our Lady of Grand Rapids - In Progress

Originally uploaded by bbmarie.

This is the painting I have been working on lately. I did the drawing this past Fall but didn’t get around to starting the painting until recently. This photo is of my easel which was in the carriage house studio until last week when I moved it to the dinning room ’cause I just couldn’t get the wood stove to heat the place up enough to keep me comfortable while sitting still painting. It is kind of nice to be painting in the house for awhile with all it’s lively inhabitants and domestic atmosphere.

I usually have reproductions of paintings I love clustered around the painting I am currently working on. It seems to help me in a way I am not sure how to talk about except to say they are my cloud of witnesses that give me courage to continue.

The doll dress that hangs over the side was to be inspiration for a pattern in the drapery. You can see the drawing off to the side. I always do very detailed drawings that then get transfered to the panel before I can begin to paint. The drawing helps guide the work along and remains an important reference throughout the process.

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incarnation

Originally uploaded by bbmarie.

It was late Saturday night that Brenda and I returned from our big trip to Chicago. We had decided to go to my opening at Ann Nathan Gallery and celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary at the same time. The only catch was what to do with the kids. We worked it out with Roes and Pearl to take our place as guardians with the little girls staying overnight with our good friends around the corner.

It was late Saturday night when we arrived back in Grand Rapids at the Amtrak station downtown. From there we caught a cab which dropped us off on Lake Drive in front of Trinity United Methodist Church. My wallet (with over a hundred dollars in cash and debit card) dropped out of my coat pocket on to the seat of the cab but I wouldn’t know this until much later. We walked the remaining two blocks home thankful to be back in our neighborhood. When we walked through the door it was nearly 11:00 PM and everyone was in bed. The house was as neat as a pin. On the dinning room table was a paper bag with an assortment of home made cards to welcome us back home.

Our time in Chicago was a rare opportunity for Brenda and I to have an adventure with out the children. It felt like our courtship as we enjoyed relearning to be together with out all the dynamics of children in a constant swirl around us. We stayed over with old friends Tim and Sherrie Lowly which was great because their home is a place rich in music, art , conversation, and God…..all our favorite stuff.

The opening at Ann’s was painful for the first twenty minutes as the crowd was sparse and we felt alone and out of place but then familiar faces began to arrive and conversations with cups of wine warmed up the evening. We sold the painting of the girl in the red dress to a couple we had met before. The woman is an artist print maker and the husband a funeral director. This is their second Beerhorst painting to add to their collection.

Brenda and I had made up our mind that on this trip we would not go through the same rituals and territory that defined nearly all our previous Chicago visits. This time we wanted to learn to use the L trains and discover some of the other neighborhoods besides the River North Gallery district. We did this. It meant a lot unfolding and folding of maps as well as asking for directions. It included plenty of back tracking but it also meant we were opening up new territory. We were learning something new which also meant we were making mistakes.

Our explorations took us to Andersonville neighborhood and a great swedish restaurant. China town and the purchase of a beautiful kitchen knife and various little gifts for the children. And finally we explored the West Loop gallery district which is home to several galleries we had heard about but never walked through. West Loop leans toward younger emerging artists and more conceptual work.

Loosing my wallet seemed to be wanting to wreck the conclusion of a great adventure. Brenda suggested I sit down, relax and ask God for some help. I did this in the milk shake pink rocking chair I rebuilt last fall. About an hour later we got a call from the cabby who told me that he had found my wallet and could drop it off on his way into work that afternoon. He assured me it was still stuffed with money and it was, even after his unsolicited reward.

Like so much of our life our week end adventure was punctuated with risks, mistakes, and rewards.

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portrait of Grace with white rose and book

Originally uploaded by bbmarie.

Brenda and I leave tomorrow on the train to Chicago for the art opening at Ann Nathan Gallery Friday night. We are celebrating 20 years of marriage. We were married January 2nd 1988. We had planned a honeymoon in New Orleans but got as far as Kentucky when I came down with the flue. We waited it out for a few days and then headed home. Sometimes things turn out different than what you planned.

I hope this trip goes better. We are hopping to sell some of the paintings out of the show. It is a portrait show and includes three other artists. We will stay over night and have plenty of time to explore and linger.

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