Drawing titled, just listen to her is available in my etsy shop
Someone once told me that listening is always interpreted as love. I have found this to be true. I have now been married for twenty three years and keeping tuned into what my wife is trying to communicate to me is intermittent at best. I am not sure if it is my own stubbornness of just plain old dullness, but I often miss some of the really helpful insights she is trying to share because some how that just don't get through.
Sometimes I wonder if some of our missed communication could be related to the different ways men and women think. It seems that men and women respond differently to the same situations having to do with tendencies that may be characteristic of our gender. Speaking generally, women tend to naturally pick up on how people are interconnected and want what is good for the whole group or family beyond what they may personally need or want. The man tends to barrel forward towards what he wants to conquer regardless of how it may effect all those affected by his actions. I have seen this played out in the art world where the women are giving much more of their time and energy to support their husband and children all the while neglecting their work in the studio. While they are doing this the fellas are just charging ahead from one project to the next with out losing sleep over what areas the family may be in need or vulnerable. Oops, did I just describe Brenda and my relationship?
I can't help but think that my wife and I are together because we are very different and have incredible potential that can be only realized if we can find real working ways to stay open and tuned in to each other, so we may receive the full benefit of those differences. The challenge will be hearing that content when it runs across the grain of what you may naturally want to do in any given situation. Perhaps this is where love comes in and enables us to allow ourselves to be redirected in ways that may feel counterintuitive.
Here is to all you guys out there, slow down and take time to really hear what she is saying and then ruminate on it for awhile and then watch your life open up like a blooming flower.