Photo by Eric Tank
This is my son Shepherd. He is 15. In some ways we are very alike, and in other ways completely different. At times we get along just great and I really appreciate those times. Other times we clash and all I can think of is how great it will be when he moves out.
We had friends over for dinner last night, one of which grew up as an Albanian in Kosovo. While he was sharing about what it was like in his country, he mentioned how the children stay living with the parents until they get married - regardless of how long that may take. He told us, in his country there is not any shame in a child living with their parents well into their thirties, in fact if your offspring move out and they are not getting married - they naturally wonder what went wrong. He said it was hard for him to understand why there is so much pressure in the US for children to move out so quickly.
I am in the process of learning what it means to live with my children as they become adults. I am learning how to allow for their own developing characters and the decisions that they make as they go about charting the course of their newly adult lives. I want to be there for them, but not get in the way or try to keep them little children. I want to be able to respect their choices even when they cut across the grain of my own current value system. I think that when I truly do this it will be a genuine expression of real love that eventually will find an organic return.