Staying Connected

I pray in different ways. We say a few words of thanks before we eat our meals at home. We say a prayer after I read to the little girls at night. Sometimes we say the Lord's prayer together, their very sleepy voices just barely making it to the end.  I think of the songs I sing as a sort of prayer and also the paintings and the drawings.

For me prayer is kind of like "going on line" to the supernatural.  Some times it happens quite by accident and some times you want to and it feels impossibly dead like turning the key in the ignition of a car and all you get is a quiet little click.

Wanting to connect and stay connected to God is born into us and yet it sometimes the reality of this connecting seems to drift away like the radio station that begins to come in and out when your car is leaving the broadcast range of the station.  I remind myself with the notion that regardless of whether the connection feels like it is there or not, it is there.  It is always there and not dependent on how I may be feeling or performing at any given time.  This truth is a great comfort to me.

What does prayer mean to you?

The Mystical Power Plant

This painting which is titled "Under the Robe" was inspired by an established Christian icon motif that traditionally refers to Saint Mary's role as the intercessor.  In my painting my wife Brenda has this pivotal role for our family.  Brenda's late night anxieties go from worry to prayer in the mystical transition that has released many important transformations over the years. 

The thought that there is a supernatural personality who is all powerful and kindly disposed towards our family is the active idea that has been the power plant tucked under the hood of our families very unconventional lifestyle.  I credit Brenda's steady day in and day out prayers to keeping that engine tuned and purring along.

A Longing Of The Soul

“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
                                                                                          -Gandhi

Painting My Children

I have been using my children as the subject-matter of my paintings for several years now. I just began a new painting of my son Shepherd yesterday.  He modeled for 45 minutes.  Standing still is not easy for a 14 year old boy and I considered this as I drew. His sacrifice in modeling for me was making the new painting possible. 

Family life is full of sacrifice at every turn. You lay down your singleness in getting married and from the first child on there are more and more sacrifices to follow.  Of course there are many rich returns as well from the freedoms that you must give up in the process of keeping a family together and healthy. There was a time when I had to help my daughter Pearl get her food into her mouth during dinner time while my dinner cooled off.  Yesterday Pearl was working beside me with great enthusiasm to turn 50 lbs of Roma tomatoes into spaghetti sauce.

All these years of doing portraits of my children has helped keep me connected to them in a meaningful way.  I would even go as far to say that every painting I have done of my children, wherever it has ended up, continues to radiate like a sustained prayer for their welfare. I  believe making a painting of someone can be a different way of praying for them and once done goes on to linger with great power.

Making Pearls

What do we do when someone we know is suffering?

When we are with someone who is going through a very painful part of their life journey perhaps the best thing we can do is to just be there and do our best to listen.  It seems very difficult to find any words that can be truly helpful in those situations.

I sometimes think of the way pearls are formed in the shell of the oyster.  It begins with a grain of sand that is painful and irritating to the oyster.  She responds by coating the particle with mother of pearl coat after coat until the pearl is finally formed with by this time is a costly treasure.  I remind myself of this as I go through days that have me in a place where I feel irritated and cross. 

This thought is a comfort to me be may sound trite to the person who is just barely pulling themselves along. Maybe listening and saying next to nothing is the best route.